Kerrie Says it Best

Outcast-Kerrie Roberts

Since I can remember

Guess I've been a problem

Never had a filter

Never been the popular one

To sugar coat what I know is undeniable

I just can't hide it

I wear it like a letter

Everywhere I go

Everyone is talking

I can feel them staring

They hope I'm just pretending

And giving up my power

Caving into pressure

I'm not living for them

I live for something better

I'm not good enough

I'm not what they want

But let me tell you what

I know who I am

So just throw me out

For not fitting in

I will stand my ground

And be an outcast

So-o what if I'm an outcast

So-o what if I'm an outcast

So what if I don't look the

Part I'm supposed to play

What if I don't follow

All the rules they make

They think I should be perfect

They love it when I mess up

No grace in case I blow it

A good girl shouldn't need it

I'm not good enough

I'm not what they want

But let me tell you what

I know who I am

So just throw me out

For not fitting in

I will stand my ground

And be an outcast

So-o what if I'm an outcast

So-o what if I'm an outcast

So slow and everybody's so fast

So-o what if I'm an outcast

I try to play nice

I don't want to fight

But I won't be gray

When it's all black and white

Cause what I believe

Is what makes me strong

If I don't belong

I hold onto love

I try to play nice

I don't want to fight

But I won't be gray

When it's all black and white

Cause what I believe

Is what makes me strong

If I don't belong

I hold onto love

So-o what if I'm an outcast (Oh)

So-o what if I'm an outcast (So what if I'm an outcast)

So slow and everybody's so fast

No matter what it costs to be an outcast

I'm not good enough

I'm not what they want

But let me tell you what

I know who I am

So just throw me out

For not fitting in (I don't wanna fit in)

I will stand my ground

To be an outcast

Kerrie definitely says it best. And I definitely feel that my blogs as of late have shown

my self conscious, insecurity about who I am.

I cannot choose how people see, but once upon a time I really didn't care.

I was okay with being an "outcast" and not fitting the mold. That came after years of trying

to fit in and only finding humiliation.

Suddenly I have become that little girl who was scared and didn't want to stand out. I have

had several regressions to that little girl in my life, only to find more humiliation and I don't

want to go through that again.

I know who I am. I am a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made, dearly loved and I will

serve the God who sent His son to die for my sins.

Fitting in has never worked for me, I stand out and I can't change that!

But instead of trying to run away or attempt to keep the attention for myself,

I am going to direct the attention to my Heavenly Father.

He continually changes my life, so I want others to know that He will change theirs too!

The Unblog

I am feeling really tired and sick today. My head hurts and it is hard to write out my

thoughts so although my original intention was to write a blog entry today... I am not

going to.

Sorry :(

As You Can Tell...

Life has been rough on me lately.

I feel like I have maybe complained a bit. I am not happy with that fact, but its there.

In these rough times I don't want to be someone who only views the burdens and not

the blessings, because I don't want to spread that bad attitude.

I am on empty a bit lately. One difficult thing after another can do that to a person.

Sympathy is not what I am seeking when sharing how life has been hard,

because everyone is going through something. I don't like to share the negative so much.

Thats why more often than not you will hear me talking about makeup or hair or my

little nieces or my new little nephew.

I feel like people think I am an air head or flighty because I talk up these aspects to avoid

the others. It seems to me that people get sick of hearing that prayers weren't answered

the way we all wanted. Then it feels like people think its your fault for not hearing good news!

I am a small HUMAN part of this world. Life doesn't begin or end at me. Thank God!

And as you can tell, I am taking a break from being someone with answers.

For a while I think I am going to be a person with questions, seeking after the Lord

with my whole heart, seeking hope and a future.

Pray for me and if you let me know you need it... I'll pray for you too.