In Prayer

Prayer is not a little thing that maybe makes a difference.

Prayer is a huge thing that we can do to show God our hearts.

To praise God for His hand in our lives and for all His

wondrous works. To thank God for what He has given to us.

To humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness of our sins and

to give ourselves over to His will above our own.

Prayer is important in our daily lives. In so called "normal"

situations and extreme situations.

The results of prayer are not always what we expect, but they

make a difference! Whether in us or in our situations God is

sovereign!

Right now I am in prayer over so many things. They all

feel urgent and the outcomes are all terrifying to me.

But I am not going to let the evil one convince me that prayer is some

little thing and God doesn't hear me.

I know He hears and He cares. I will trust in Him.

I will trust in Him!

1 Peter 5:6-10 says:

"6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

We need to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us. We need to be watchful of the evil one and be firm in our faith. Those are all things that require us to be in prayer daily.

I hope you are encouraged.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16

Just Get It Out!

There are times when we have strong emotions.

And if you are like me you tend to stuff them.

Either because "you don't have time" to go through them

or you don't want to deal with them.

Its these things that make us like volcanos we stuff and stuff

and those emotions sit dormant until we get hit by one that

heats up all the rest of those stuffed emotions and we blow!

Right now I am learning that I need to cry when I am crying

and just get those emotions out.

Saturday night I got super upset around midnight

(yes I was still awake) because I saw that the Z key on

the keyboard of our netbook was missing.

I got sad, annoyed, angry and depressed. And Michael

and I quickly realized that it was not because of the Z being

missing.

Its because I have stuffed a lot of emotions in order to be flexible

calm and get things done.

I ended up throwing a tantrum and getting mad at God for all of

the things that I can't do anything about. Whether they were

caused by me or not... I yelled at God and cried my eyes out!

I sat tired, depressed and miserable with my tired hubby

looking at me like "what just happened here?"

Volcano Angela erupted, even our dog felt the quakes it caused!

Well I did find the Z and I then realized that God hadn't let that

happen to make me go nuts, but He gave me a way to get all those

emotions out and to teach me that He gave me my emotions so

that I could feel what was going on around me. Not to stuff them

away and explode later.

No it doesn't always feel so nice to be sad or angry, but we

have to choose to feel what we do and get through it.

The best part about that is that we are not alone! He is with

us, He loves us and He will always see us through our trials.

Listing it All Out

So many things going on right now I feel like I can't

tell you all of it in one blog update...

I'll try listing it out and see how much we get in!

I am excited because:

I got to catch up with some old friends and their two boys.

I am starting a couple new projects for the youth group

that include painting and t-shirt crafting

(I usually call it re-purposing).

Its my hubby's birthday tomorrow!

God is good!

I am tired because:

I don't think I have fully recovered from SubZero yet...

I played with the most adorable little boys (who are 5 and around 2)

all afternoon yesterday and my muscles are feeling it today.

There are a lot of emotionally stressful things going on in my family

and I am feeling like the only sane one besides my younger brother!!

I haven't been sleeping well (my thoughts keep me up at night).

I am stressed because:

I have forms I have to fill out for going back to school to finish my

degree(s) and they are due really soon!!!

I am really worried about my toes being stepped on for the projects

I am starting for the youth group. They have been in the works since

before our newer youth staff, I have had a really crummy winter of

being ill which has kept me from getting to them and I don't want

someone else to take them from me as I feel they are important to

leave a legacy for a leader that passed away this summer and to

let the youth know I care even though I may not be part of the youth

staff this fall.

I am sad because:

I miss my Grandma, she would be so encouraging to me in this time.

It was my friend Loren's birthday yesterday and its almost been

a year since she died.

I feel that God is pulling me away from the youth group for another

ministry opportunity, I love working with the youth and Michael

gets to keep working with them. (So I'm trying not to be jealous there)

I am done blogging because:

There isn't really anything else to write about

(which means I fit it all in)...

I feel like I need a nap.

I'll post again next week!

SubZero, New Nephew, and Being Sleepy!

Okay so as you can tell... life has been very busy.

And I kinda feel like there's no rest for the weary,

but I know that isn't true. So I am seeking rest in

Christ alone. He is the one that has delivered peace

and continues to give me refuge.

This weekend was SubZero, an all night youth event we held

at a local community center, with a few other churches.

We had a video game room, girls room, pool and gym time

(for a bball tourney and a dodge ball tourney), refreshments,

an inflatables room(it was human foosball) and we also had a

stage where Semeron, Fades Away and Postina all played

and where we played "Minute to Win It" !!!

I was in the girls room, which we dubbed "The Diva's Den"

I did decor, ambiance, and visited with everyone who stopped

in. There was a gal who did the nail polish station named Isabel

who was so fun to talk to! we also had Stephanie giving some

makeovers and showed girls tricks with makeup,

April doing the crafts (jewelry of course) and taking pictures

in the "Photo Op" and Judy (who put the crafts together)

stuck around to chat and make bracelets too!

It was so amazing to watch the planning process unfold into

the event. Jena (pronounced g-na), Tyler, Jamie, Josh, Joel,

and Mike (not my husband) put so much time and effort in

and that really showed when we were setting everything up!

I thought it went really well and we had 180 kids show up,

100 or so preregistered and the plan is to do it again next year!

After that we ended up at my mom's on Monday of the early am

and during that time Michael's sister in law gave birth to Zuriel Isaac Miller!

Our first nephew! He is so precious! His big sister Naomi loves him,

although we didn't get to see that first hand today, but there's a pic

on Facebook and its so cute!

Oh man after writing this all down I am super sleepy....

and I was really sleepy already!

Tuesday Update about My Weekend

This past weekend was super busy for me.

I had a belated birthday party for my sister Amber,

went to an art show that one of my mom's friends was in,

and went to the celebration of the 20 year ministry of my

former youth pastor Dave and his wife Tami.

Because of Michael's work schedule I had to stay with my mom

all weekend and Monday morning to get to all of these things.

Amber's party was at Mom's and everything else was

around that area so that was convenient!

All those activities brought back so many memories for me.

Good and bad memories.

The good news in all of that however, is that I only had

one really bad break down.

It was after Amber had opened her presents and we had cake.

Amber was in mom's rocker glider with her daughter Katie

in her lap and Abby was on the couch hugging her baby girl Lexi.

I looked at both of them and I couldn't hold it together at all!

I ran upstairs to my mom's room and cried so hard that

I couldn't breathe. My mom came and hugged me

and told me to get it all out. And she listened as I talked about

what it was that triggered all my tears.

It wasn't Abby or Amber's fault. They love their little girls!

What hurt me so much about seeing them hold their

daughters was knowing that I won't get to hold my baby on this earth.

I know someday I will be alright.

That seeing my friends and family hold their kids won't hurt

so bad and I won't have to CHOOSE to be

happy for them, I just WILL be happy for them.

Until then please don't hold it against me if I have to keep

my distance when I'm overwhelmed.

I really do appreciate all of you.

The prayers and support have been marvelous.

Thank you so much!